I guess the beginning is as good as anywhere.
Sloped off work a tad early to avoid Friday rush hour misery, quick visit to liquor store to grab a six pack and then load Sean's stuff into the Bolluxmobile. Off we head to Va and a weekend of mountain bike madness. Using Sean's Garmin makes the trip easy and even with a stop for dinner at Winchester we are at the Elizabeth Furnace campground by 9:20pm. Smashing! Except they lock the bloody gates at 9pm. Sean and I have a short discussion of the options, we are pretty chilled cos we know we can camp "illegally" at the picnic ground down the road and be off before the Ranger's come calling. Just then a flashlight interrupts our chat and the old guy would is the volunteer camp warden has come out to see what we are up to. We ask if there is anywhere we can dump the car and walk into the camp ground with our stuff - old guy just says "don't tell anyone I did this, and be quite setting up" as he unlocks the gate and lets us in - What a GENT!
WE quickly select a pitch as far away from other people as possible and while Sean heads off to complete our campsite registration I put the tent up. Fifteen minutes later and we are in the tent (sheltering from light drizzle) with beers in hand contemplating the fun to come. Our conversation is interrupted (for the second time tonight) by the elderly camp warden who has come to check we have registered. He politely ignores the fact that we are drinking beer in contravention of the clearly posted NO ALCOHOL signs (I do like this bloke) but warns us that we don't want to leave our cooler outside as it may attract the "site bear", nuff said! The possibility that he is overstating the bear risk is quickly negated by the loud banging (in the not too far distance) of the aforesaid bear raiding the campsite trash cans! Somewhat nervously then we turn out the lights, stow the cooler in the Bolluxmobile and drift to sleep to the sounds of "Yogi" doing his best Keith Moon impression in the darkness.
Next morning and we are non-too quick getting our arses in gear so it is 9am before we are breakfasted, gears up and hitting the trail.
Navigation is fool proof, blazes are clear and the trails are good! First couple of miles are pretty benign a gentle break in before Signal Knob. Then the Massanutten Trail "proper" starts and all hell breaks loose! Seriously rock but rideable trails (on which we pass two other mtbers, the only bikers we see all weekend) to start with then just too bloody steep and rocky for words! We push!
Mountain biking at its best!!
The we push some more! We are overtaken by some walkers who (i) look very bloody fit and well equipped and (ii) are taking two days to hike the 11 mile loop up and over Signal Knob! Alarm bells start ringing in the distant recesses of my subconscious. How much fun is it possible to have pushing your bike up a rocky scree laden mountain for over two hours? Bugger all. We slog away in the heat, sweat is dripping off us in buckets before we are even half way to the top, but eventually we reach flat ground and even manage to ride our bikes a bit (passing the walking group) until we hit the milestones of (i) the TV tower and then (i) Signal Knob overlook. I am quietly excited as I vaguely remember from the Bike magazine article that precipitated this adventure that the descent from Signal Knob is reported to be a blistering, rocky funhouse of an experience! Bit of an anticlimax when I realize that the descent reported is what we have just spent the past 2 hours pushing or F'in bikes up and that our route takes us down the mountain on a fireroad! Still too knackered to worry too much, just nice to be sitting on my bike for a change.
At the lake at the base of the mountain we hang a right and enjoy some pretty ridable trail until disaster strikes. Sean is dog tired and misjudges a rooty section with the result he hits the ground pretty hard on his right wrist. Nothing broken but the wrist hampers him for the rest of the day and the bruising to his thumb is enough to be painful even now. After a too short trail and then fireroad section we have to climb back to the ridge. Another 30 minute hike-a-bike up Patapscoesque mud and rock trail and by the time we are at the ridge line we are both exhausted! I honestly think that (at this point) if Sean had the energy he would have beat me to death with his bike pump for dragging him out on this "adventure". And things only got better! The ridge riding was rocky, twisting and had enough sudden short steep climbs to keep us walking, in our exhausted state, for a good deal of the time. Progress was painfully slow and the original target of New Market was looking decidedly dodgy. By 2 pm (5 hours in) we were nowhere near our projected lunchtime destination (and water fill up spot). Water was running short and things looked bad. By 3pm and things were seriously in danger of getting ugly. Out of water and we were both basically beat up. At this point all thoughts of finishing our original route were abandoned and my only objective was to get off the mountain and get some water. As luck would have it at this point the trail began to get a lot more groomed - clearly we were approaching civilization. Oh what bliss a road can b, as we stumbled out onto a "chip and tar" road that the map quickly confirmed lead down to Woodstock. From the road the valley looked like a map laid out before us and the true extent of the days elevation gain hit home. As we flew down the road at breakneck speed over corrugated sections and round several switchbacks the realization that we will have to climb back up this hill vaguely occurs, but is driven away by a primal need for water and rest.
Sat outside Woodstock Food Lion and the prospect of advancing any further is quickly quashed. We fill out bottles with water, we drink Gatorade and beer (feels good!) and eat potato chips. Then we book into the Holiday Inn Express where the nice lady behind the reception desk does not even blink as we wheel our bikes pass her and into our room. 4:30pm and our riding day is over, 6:30 (when MLW calls to see how we are) and we are both asleep. Major "boys' night out" is a non-starter and is replaced by a carry out pizza, a six pack and watching "Erin Brockovich" on the hotel room TV. I fall asleep long before the end and wake up the next day fully clothed.
Outside Holiday Inn -Woodstock -day two
Day two and it is somewhat gingerly that we head out of Woodstock, knowing that the day's first business is with the climb to Woodstock Tower (at an elevation close to 2000 ft).
Savoring the view of what's to come - over 1000 ft climb to Woodstock Tower
Over the bridge by the dam and immediately the road tilts upwards - I start my stopwatch to document the climb! On paper this looks a dream of a climb, chip and tar surface, switchbacks the kind of climb that people would pay to climb. But that's probably on a road bike, not a single speed Mtb and with a 20 lb pack on your back. The fist time I look at my stopwatch it says 5 min (and I'm already gasping). But I get a second wind and some kind of rhythm, stand for a while till the quads and back start to hurt, then sit till the calves start to complain. Then 12 min have passed, cars driving down and coming up contain spectators that all grin and give either a wave or thumbs up - and for a while I feel like a real cyclist. By 18 min I am beginning to drag - and it's time to start making deals with myself. I will pedal for 40 min then get off and rest (even if I am not at the top). At 20 min I start the counting down, but then in no time I turn a corner and recognize the trail head we emerged from yesterday! This means only about another 200 ft to the top! With renewed vigor I stomp the pedals and with the watch reading 24 min and change I have reached Woodstock Tower. I dump the bike and stagger around a bit, a big sweaty blob. Every flying insect in 100 miles is attracted to me and soon I am sat in the midst of a gently buzzing cloud waiting for Sean. As he "summits' I take the required photo to record his misery and then we head down the mountain to Woodstock Gap.
After Saturday's snails paced progress Sunday has been a blur of speed and by 1am (only 2 hours in) we are on the road at Detrick only 12 or so miles from the campsite at Elizabeth Furnace. Here I shamelessly play on Sean's exultation at conquering the Woodstock Tower climb and persuade him (against all the promises he had made to himself) to head back onto the Massanutten Trail at Verch Gap. Initially the trail is great, an overgrown fire road with a few washed out stream crossings for added excitement. Soon we are back on the "Orange" Massanutten Trail and for a while the going is pretty good. Rocky as hell but the elevation gain is manageable. But I know what is ahead. The trail takes a sudden right and it's hike-a-bike time again as we crawl to the top of the ridge. Another hour and a half or so to the summit and a great view over the valley to the east - complete with eagles soaring!
DogzBollux at peak of elevation gain (day two)
At the top Sean is about wiped and for both of us progress has again slowed to a crawl. A look at the map allows us to plan a bale out route at Sherman Gap if needed and we agree that if we are not at this trail head by 2pm this is the route we will take. Progress along the ridge is as slow as Saturday - bits are rideable but long sections are not, push/ride/push repeat. At 1;40pm we hit the trail head at Sherman Gap but we are both done in again so we opt for this route and head down a seriously steep rocky trail. After the first half mile it flattens out enough to ride and we make sketchy progress down into the valley. Then sections of the trail become more Patapscoesque again and we have some fun hopping logs and even muscling up some short rocky climbs. The last 2.5 miles seem to go on forever but our wussiness is then exposed as we find a trail marker noting that the section we have just suffered on for seemingly hours is part of the Old Dominion 100 mile Trail Run! At the marker we head right toward the campsite and soon we can hear voices of children playing - civilization!! Past a swimming hole with families enjoying the late summer heat that we could to be honest done without today and then we hit paved road at the picnic area. A short hop along the road and we are back at the campground where we collapse next to the water pump, fill our bottles and drink!! Cold water has never tasted so good!! Two days of getting our asses kicked by the Massanutten Mountain Trail are complete. Old Camp Ground Guy comes out to see how we have fared and we have to admit we failed miserably in our original quest. "Well you boys have more gumption than me getting over them mountains on a bike" are his kind words and we head back to the tent and Bolluxmobile. 30 min later and the tent is in the van and we are heading out! Beers are opened as we hit the road and we listen to good old fashioned rock music all the way home! magic weekend, tough as old boots but worth every miserable second - I am already planning a second attempt at the Massanutten Mountain Trail for 2009.
In the wise words of Alanis Morissette "I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone, I certainly do". Yes the Massanutten Mountain Trail was a "Jagged Little Pill" but worth the experience! And "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" as Homer Simpson once said (though I think Nietzsche may have said it first).
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