If a tree falls in a forest........

Q. If a tree falls in a forest and there is nobody there to hear it - does it make a noise?

A. Of course it does you silly arse!!

But in the same vein, if you send an email and no bugger can be arsed to answer it was it worth sending! The email group for the Sunday rides is getting longer, but the bodies hitting the trails on a Sunday morning are getting fewer, interesting paradox. Is it just cos of the weather (bloody cold) or is it something more sinister (pause for dramatic organ chord!). Maybe people feel seeing that there are so many people on the list they can not show and it won't make any difference. Maybe people having riden for the best part of a year are getting a little dbored with MTBing. Maybe no-one likes me!!!!

Whichever way, come Saturday night I have received precisely no takers for the Sunday morning ride. MLW decides that she doesn't want to go if it is just her and me. So Sunday morning it is just me hitting Patapsco for a "Billy No-Mates" solo-ride on the Monocog 29er!

On the trail by 8:20 am start the usual anticlockwise "big loop" but decide to have a short detour around the "Old Loop Trail" just to see if there are any new fallen obstacles to liven things up - alas no. Once back on the big loop I scuttle around till I hit the crossroads at the start of the Ridge trail. As previously I try and take on most of the optional obstacles - the exception being the lengthway log at the bottiom of the Belmont hill - still too snowy for my liking but I can see some hardy soul has riden it - Great job! At the crossroads I decide that as I am by myself I have no excuses, so head down to the road (which is majorly slick) and traverse to the BC side of teh park. I attempt the Soapstone ascent but fail! Make it about 80 % of the way but a 'kin huge new(ish) log built up on both sides is just a hurdle too far so i push the last bit. Then down Vineyard and back to the HC side. On the way I stop to attempt the small wall in the grassy area by the old campground. Rodger mentioned this in passing and it looks completely ridable. Just a bumpy wall that starts at geround level and as the ground falls away leads to a foot and a half (or so) drop off. What can go wrong eh? All the time I am thinking "keep the front wheel up" but do I buggery and end up over the bars and flat on my back like a dying fly! Fortunately (i) no damage and (ii) no witnesses. Back on HC side I take on the fireroad back to Ridge and fail again (0-2 on the climbs).

From then on a same old same old ride. The Northern facing slopes are still very icey and result in some pushing, but onthe whole a nice little ride. I'm back to the car at 10:00 am so a solid 1hr 40min ride - probably over 10 miles covered some old haunts revisited and a yearning for longer rides stirring in me.

Only bad news of the week was reading in Bicycling Magazine that Saul Raisin (http://www.saulraisin.com/) has had to abandon his attempt to rejoin the pro-cycling ranks at the advice of his doctors. Sorry mate all the best for your future plans - I'm still wearing the Ride On bracklet!

Ride On!

Dogzbollux

Back in the Saddle!!

Well..... mtb rides have been like buses lately. Having waited bloody weeks to get one, two come along straight after each other.



But lets not get ahead of ourselves and go through recent efforts in chronological order. Lst Thursday saw a nice little winter storm blow through Maryland, the forecast was for barely an inch of snow, but it started falling mid morning and by mid afternoon there was a couple inches of the white stuff on the ground and the sky was still heavy and snow laden! Despite my best last minute efforts (emails, phone calls and even personal berating of work collegues) I could not round up anyone who wanted to head off out for a nocturnal snow ride. Turns out this was fort he best as by 6 pm the temperature had risen sharply and the nice snow had been replaced by a very wet winter mix. Oh well with mtbing out of the window there was only one thing for it, pull on those running shoes and hit the pavement for my scheduled long(ish) road run. Dragging myself through the snow-laden streets made me feel very self satisfied and to be honest was great fun. Progress was slow, I did a quick mental calculation as I ran (based on known landmarks) and figured that the conditions, and me taking it easy) resulted in a minute a mile slower than normal pace. Oh well still managed a respectable 80 minute run, the last twenty of which were pretty cold as the temperature plumetted again and me wearing wet clothes by then.



Come the weekend and the weather gods were feeling more happy with us bikers and with nice freezing temperatures the trails were always going to be ridable. So Sunday am (8:15) saw MLW, Sean I and me launching from Landing Road. Seriously cold! Temps were barely in the 20's so we donned as much warm clothing as possible and headed off. The new fallen logs I saw the previous week (running with Sean II) were intact (guess "the Man" and his trusty chainsaw were detered by the weather - long may it last) and we ahd a fun ride. Hands were very cold for first 20 min but as the engine began putting out some heat things were all fine and dandy. this was my first real test of the disc brakes and they excelled! Sean I had serious issues with his rim brakes almost immediately after the first water crossing that resulted in him riding down the enxt hill with this feet dragging on the trail to slow himself down. Second water crossing and Sean I lost his gears!! We cut the ride shorter than most due to the temperatures and the fact that the trails wer a bit slick in places, still first ride for over a month and it felt great to be back on the trails.



Nxt day was MLK day so decided to play hooky from work. in the afternoon I arranged to hit Patapsco again but this time on foot for a trail run (in preparation for the Hat run) with James. We actually ran furter than we had rident he day before, completing the whole "big loop" from Landing clockwise (the hard way) - even took in the extra hill after the first water (up past the old railway ties). Turned out the decision to cut the ride short the day before was wise cos some of the trail that side of the park was very slick. James is a pretty seasoned road runner but a novice on the trials. He was quite shocked at the steepness of the hills, if these hills surprise you prepare to be amazed at the Hat run I warn him, and he adds half a minute a mile to his estimated time for Hat! Nice run, both fell in at the middle water crossing. A bit bizarre because the water was much warmer than the air and didn't feel cold at all. Nice frozed trails and more fun!



Then just when it appears life can't get any moe fun!! It bloody well does! Todd goes and organizes the first night ride of 2008. Fan-bloody-tastic! then unfortunately has to abandon due to family commitments but leaves me and a "new guy" Brian to hit the trails together. I've meet Brian before and know he is a real kiss ass roadie and am a little concerned about how it will go. Brian could certainly pull my legs off if he decided to but, being a nice bloke, takes pity on me and we have a nice ride (long loop anti-clockwise). No incidents, both stay attached to the bikes the whole way. Even with the slippery conditions many of the "extra point" obstacles were taken on and cleared. As the Ridge trail progressed so life got more icey and although Brian, with superior skills (and gears), crushed all the hills, me - well I had fairly major back wheel slippage at times, so some degree of pushing was called for.

By the time we tackled the rockgarden at the bottom of the Cascade trail, I was pretty much fried (a nice feeling after too long being idle). When Brian offered to take in some extra hills I had to pass. Could be that my knowledge that there was a six pack of Peter's Wicked Ale waiting for us at the car weakened my resolve! But whatever the reason the decision was to head straight back to the Bolluxmobile for a well deserved beverage.

About 1 hour 20 min riding, brilliant fun and the first "heart rate raising" ride in a while. Brian seemed to have a good time and I suspect he may become a regular fixture on the noctural adventures.

As Gary Glitter once said (in the pre-child porn days) "It's good to be back"

DogzBollux!

Mid-Winter Blues

The weather is really playing havoc with riding at the moment! I haven't been out on the trusty 29er monocog since early December! I installed the disc brakes on December 10 and haven't had chance to test them in earnest yet - BUGGER.

Biking has been restricted to a single road ride (back on the Cannondale R400). Fearing for my bonk-liability after the UK adventure I made sure I took plenty of calories (banana, power gel and blueberry breakfast bar). At 30 miles I made mayself stop and chow down. IN the end it was all gravy! Did the Columbia Tri-course then added on a section along Highland Road (216) as far as the APL and back! Finished off along Little Patuxent Parkway and the Mall for a 55 mile ride averaging 17.7 mph. Respectable but hardly earth shattering.

The real effort has been on the running front however - the race schedule for 2008 is taking shape (see below) and the first stop is the HAT RUN (www.hatrun.com). Now in it's 20th year and with an increased entry (to 450) only 44 places left as I write. Looks like 31 miles of fun, this will be my fourth running, I'll let you know how it goes.

So it's been trail running with Sean II at Patapsco for the last two Saturdays. Must say the trails look great and with a number of trees down over the Holidays I can't wait to get back and try the trails before the overzealous trail keepers and their chainsaws remove all the newly fallen fun! Then at night it's been the lonely road running to build the miles in the legs. Tonight could be interesting with the snow on the ground and a 1.5-2 hour run scheduled Ho Hum.

Hopefully this Sunday will be a go for MTB fun at Patapsco and there is even a slight danger of the night ride making a long overdue comeback next week.

DOGZBOLLUX 2008 RACE SCHEDULE (tentative)

Hat Run (50 km trail run) March 29 - confirmed
12 Hours Lodi Farm (12 hour mtb race) May 3-4
Wilderness 101 (101 mile mtb race) July 26
JFK 50 miler (50 mile trail run) November 22

Bonking in Dear Old Blighty!

It's been a fair while since I got round to posting anything, the hiatus has been caused partly due to my inactivity - for which I have already (and no doubt will again) paid a highj price as you will see - and cos I spent the two weeks over the Holidays in my homeland across the pond! December 20th MLW, child 2 and child 3 and Yours Truly headed off to England for Chrimbo with the folks!

England was pretty much as usual, cold damp and dreary. Arriving on the winter solistice (shortest day of the year) we couldn't understand why it was going dark at 3:00pm!!

Planned for plenty of riding in UK - nice mtb trails near the in-laws house (Cannock Chase) and one of our nephews (of whom I will speak later) is an avid road cyclist so some riding on the cards there. Of course plans and reality are so often radically different and so it was only a minor shock/disapointment that exertion in the UK was in reality one short run and two road cycles.

MLW's sister, the avid cyclists mother, lives in Cambridge which is (darn sarf) as far as a midlander such as myself is concerned, so it was a fun car trip south down the M6 and A14 to Cambridge on the day after Boxing day (i.e. Dec 27). That Saturday the cycling nephew and I finally go out on our bikes. Let me give you some background. The said nephew (Chris) is 15 years old, but is 6 ft 3 inches tall and weighs in at a feather light 140 lbs. He has been cycling for about 3 years and is a bit of a phenom as far as I am concerned! Last visit home he gave me a goood test on the road and that was back when I was kind of in shape. Fair to say I am nowhere near in as good condition now as then and Chris is only getting stronger - never come across anyone who can pack so much food away and stay so rail-bloody-thin. Standing next to him in the hallway just before we leave I really feel (and to be fair look) like a short fat bloke!

The weather for the ride is pretty challenging, not too cold, mid 50's, but bloody windy and damp. Its the wind that really does for you, several sections of the ride were up grinding uphills, not steep but draining - especially when the feild hedges have bee removed and there is no shelter from the strong gusting wind. Chris sets off at a cracking pace pulling for the first two miles at about 21 mph. Eventually I decide I'd better take over and am very despondent when the speed drops dramatically almost immediately to a rather embarrassing 17 mph!! It could be a long day I think as I really dig in just to try and get back to an acceptable speed. In the end it turns out that I probably took the lead just at the wrong time as we share the pulling duty to a degree, though Chris does the lions share I admit, and there are sections (with a head wind) when we are doing 14-17 mph on the flat and others where we chug along at 20+ mph (tail wind). In the end it is a short but satisfying ride approx 32 miles with an acceptable average (17.2 mph) given the weather conditions.

Saturday afternoon is were it all starts to go a bit pair shaped for me (though I wouldn't know this for another 20 hours). Having exerted myself pretty hard in the cold and damp of England I develop a severe wheeze and have a very constricted chest - the cold damp air and 2 hours of gasping have irritated my lungs. Secondly I really have no appetite when we get back and end up missing lunch and not eating again until dinner (BIG MISTAKE). Saturday night I end up on a blow up camp bed in one of the children's rooms as my chest is so tight and wheezy that i am keeping MLW awake! It is so bad that when I finally sleep I have the "Claustrophobia" dream I always have when I can't breath! I have to go to work in a subterranean room and the only way down is a tiny elevator that I have to crawl into so my knees are up round my chest. All the time in this tiny elevator I am gripped with the fear that when it stops I will not be able to get out as the doors won't open - strange old dream!

Fortunately next morning, after a few rasping coughs, my chest clears and I throw on my cycling gear and throw down a small bowl of cereal (have you guessed where this is going yet?) before heading off on the local club's (Cambridge Cycling Club) weekly group ride. There are three rides on offer - touring, advertized as around 40 miles at 12-14 mph; intermediate, 40 miles at 14-16 mph or sporting advertized at 40-60 miles at 16-18 mph. After yesterdays performance (which Chris insists was harder than the group ride normally is) the sporting ride looks very do-able and Chris is planning to do it so "Old Fat Uncle" can hardly duck out!

The group of cyclists that show are a revelation - so much different from the group rides I have been invloved with in Maryland. Whilst in the US evryone seems to ride a new high(ish) end bike and look very lea and fit the group in England really are a real "rag-tag" band. Real mix of youngish through pretty dams old guys, wearing a real mix of clothes (some even without helmets) and the bikes are a huge cross-section from rusty fixed gear bikes, through mid 80's steel frames to the "usual" Trek, Cannondale staples. The winter weather conditions mean that no-one rides their high end stuff from October till April as the road gunge that smothers all moving parts of a bike in winter really eats drive chains.

One thing the guys i the sporting ride do have in common however is - cor they can't half ride a bit! old and young, mild mannered and very out-going and confident, they share the ability to scoot along at a fair old clip. Initially I feel bloody great, mixing it wit the pack and with even Chris and me taking our turns at the front pulling. At one point my (and Chris's) inexperience in group rides show as we misinterprete a hand signal by one of the guys pulling to tell me that he wanted me to take over for him indicating an obstacle on the road. By the time I have realized what he really meant and Chris and I have jumped to the front we have been castigated by the guy leading the ride! "Bloody concentrate" were his exact words.

For two hours I felt like a real cyclist! Then all of a sudden things were not right! On a gentle hill all of a sudden my legs started feeling heavy and tired. I tried to keep tempo but slowly I drifted off the back, only a few yards and I quickly regained the group when the road flattened, but it was a bad sign as the traditional "mis-ride stop" was still over ten miles away. Evevitably on the next hill the same thing happened and on the next it was worse, first a yard lost, then two, suddenly I was off the back! Ten yards lost, then my will to go on just abandonned me! I looked up to see Chris drifting back, initially I think he is suffering too but then I realize he is just heeding his Dad's words not to leave Uncle DogzBollux behind. "Just go Chris" I implore him "I've got a map, I'll just find my way back to the house!"

The I endure the final ignominy of the dropped rider, the ride leader - a guy with no helmet (which at this moment I am so glad I didn't admonish him for earlier as I had been tempted to), glides back to me and with his hand on my saddle pushes me back into the group! All the while I am pleading with him to just go and leave me! I know the sad truth that even if I get back to the group I am now feeling so wretched that it'll only be a second until I'm spat out the back again. Even his shout of "Easy on the front" isn't enough to avoid this happening as I am a broken man!

At the next junction, with me begging incoherently to be left to die a slow and lonely death, Chris is dispatched to lead me via a short cut to the cafe where the group will stop for snacks. Chrsi leads his fat,old and knackered uncle Bollux throuh a few small villages at ever deminishing speeds (I swear at one point I was doing 12 mph on the flat!) towards Waresly. The realization that I may have well and truly "bonked" drfts across my mind at glacial speed. I feel absolutely dreadful, gritted teeth, unable to talk and an absolute desperate desire for food. I am literally fantisizing about cake and as we pass a field where leeks are being harvested I have to fight a strange desire to get off my bike and eat a raw leek there and then (I blame my Welsh heritage).

Finally we reach the cafe - by which time I am barely functioning at all - there is a bloodyline waiting to be served! I have to almost physically stop myself from barging people slowwly ordering cups of tea and crumpets out of the way in my rush to get a piece of cake and devour it! Eventually I end up sat at a table with a large slice of Bakewell tart, a large latte, a bananna and an energy bar. I have just sat down when the rest of the group arrive - having done an extra 7 miles! After the food and a ten minute sit doen the change is amazing, I actually feel human again. The only strange thing is that my mounth feesl a bit odd. Finally it dawns that during my teeth grinding stage I actually manages to chip a large chunk off one of my front teeth (one of the ones I had replaces after a bike crash a few years ago). BUGGER, that's going to be expensive to get fixed!

After the stop I am a changed man. from here we only have 12 miles to go and with new energy stores I am happy flying alonf with the wind at our backs at 20-24 mph. In no time we are back at Chris's house, we bid the reast of the group a fond farewell and a Happy New Year, and my English cycling adventures are over for 2007. Final tally is about 48 miles at 17.4 mph - so longer and faster than the day before (so much for an easier ride Chris!!). First time I have ever bonked - hopefully the last, really unpleasant - still knowing I can push myself to that level of discomfort and continue to ride (however slowly) is kind of nice.

In all the English riding has put into sharp focus just how bad my conditioning is after months of no hard riding and not enough running. With the New Year upon us I have made my resolutions as far s what i want to achieve running and biing this year - a bit of a bloody challenge from this starting point.

Happy New Year ALL